From the Hard Way to the Easy Way

Jon was a 41-year old marketing director in Philadelphia. When he began coaching his goal was to get to the next executive level within 2 years. Jon was very bright and had been progressing quickly in his company up until a few months before beginning coaching. In the past his marketing campaigns were effective and his bosses had been pleased with his work, however, he had begun to doubt whether he had reached a plateau in climbing the corporate ladder.

The Problem

Jon was a rising star in his organization, but there was evidence that his star was starting to fade. Reviews from customers and his boss were no longer glowing. His direct reports were not coming to him for feedback or implementing his advice. He was often uncomfortable and on edge in meetings.

Despite a great deal of effort to come across as professional and likable, Jon was not creating the impression that he needed to. He was working hard to appear a certain way but it was not working for him. Exhausted, he came home from work in a bad mood it was affecting his relationship.

Jon was concerned that he had reached a plateau at a time when he wanted to progress quickly. He had plans to retire early, at age 50, and travel the world with his wife. He knew that he would forever regret not having given his goal 100% of his effort, and he was motivated to engage in coaching.

The Assessment

We began by conducting several assessments to get feedback from Jon himself, his boss, his three direct reports, his co-workers, and his wife. 360-degree feedback supported Jon’s fears. People thought that he was a smart guy, but they didn’t see him at the senior executive level.

His boss said that Jon was a dedicated and hard-working individual, yet he lacked an ability to exert influence over others. Jon, his boss said, was a great “doer” but not a great leader.

Co-workers’ feedback contained themes of Jon’s eagerness to please. They said that he sometimes played it safe and did not disagree with people. He didn’t show visionary leadership. When his coworkers asked Jon for advice, they said that he was typically quite positive but they wondered how honest he was being.

Jon’s wife said that he had a tendency to bottle up his emotions and that sometimes he exploded with frustration about inconsequential things.

The Discovery

In examining these various puzzle pieces, I discovered something about Jon: He was trying too hard.

When Jon turned 40, he decided it was important to get to a senior executive level, so he started trying to make sure that it happened. His efforts backfired. While he wisely realized that it is important to be liked in the workplace, his desire to be liked actually under-minded his authority. He tried so hard to please others that he came across as wishy-washy and even insincere. This was ironic because Jon was a sincere guy, but his efforts were getting in his own way.

Jon was also a conflict-avoider. He didn’t want to upset people so he kept his controversial thoughts to himself. These problems had not been in issue before because Jon didn’t need to show high-level leadership abilities in his previous roles.

And of course feelings that get stuffed down have a way of resurfacing, which led to the conflicts with his wife and coworkers’ reports that sometimes Jon appeared “passive aggressive”.

The Changes

Together, Jon and I decided that to be seen as a senior executive, he would need to make some serious changes.

“You are going to need to put yourself out there and take some risks that will not be comfortable,” I advised him, “If you want to stay in place, you can keep doing what you’re doing. But to move ahead, you’ll need to drop all of your crutches and start showing the executive presence that you need.”

“I will do whatever it takes,” Jon said and we were off to the races.

Within one month, Jon’s boss commented that Jon was showing a more commanding presence in meetings. “It seems like you’re getting ready to take my job,” his boss said, “which works out great because I’d like to retire soon.”

Jon’s co-workers began asking Jon for advice more often and he was seen as a strategic leader by those around him. Within four months, two of Jon’s direct reports received significant promotions, a testament to his ability to develop them. Jon offered to give presentations and he began to enjoy igniting a bit of controversy and stimulating forward-thinking.

Jon even noticed changes at home. He expressed his feelings when they were small and manageable and as a result he avoided blowing up and getting into arguments with his wife.

When Jon dropped his crutch behaviors and allowed his true talents to shine, he started to have more executive presence which allowed him to get a promotion within a year. And his evaluations showed that he was even more respected and admired after he stopped trying so hard to be liked.

If you have a workplace change that’s too important to leave to chance, learn how to get started with executive coaching.