How Are Your Conflict Management Skills?

If you work in a conflict-ridden situation, you know that it is not only uncomfortable, but it affects the performance of those involved. Conflict in the workplace is inevitable. When you get a bunch of bright, driven, passionate people together, everyone is likely to hold fast to their ideas and want to defend them at all costs. Conflict ensures.

The important question is: how do you handle conflict? In general, people are either conflict avoiders or conflict confronters.

Do you shy away from conflict?

Do you tend to give a conflict time to work itself out or figure that there’s nothing you can do about it?

Many people feel uncomfortable with conflict and stay away from it. If you respond to tense situations in these ways, you may actually exacerbate conflict. On the other hand, another common mistake is to jump right in without the communication skills or conflict management strategies in place to best handle it.

Instead, try to confront clashes when they are small before they spiral out of control. This is the time when emotions are still relatively calm and you can easily put the fire out. Proactively address the people involved and together brainstorm ways to solve the issue at hand. If you’re feeling nervous about doing this, do it anyway. Several great changes can result: your anxiety decreases, you build confidence and you diffuse the tension.

Do you have a natural tendency and ability to manage relationships and smooth out arguments? Women are especially prone to this response because they are socialized from a young age to create positive relationships with others. This tendency can lead to neglecting your own needs while focusing on others. It can, however, work to your advantage if you are assertive about your own needs.

Many people are great at handling conflict until it involves them. You have no problem mediating and helping others to iron out their differences, but if the animosity is aimed at you, you’re ready to head for the hills.

The key is to trust your intuition about how to handle discord. Decrease defensiveness by using assertiveness skills, such as “I” language (“I feel..” rather than “you always…”). Remember that you’re addressing the conflict shows the other person that you value the professional relationship and want to preserve it. Assertively make specific requests for change and let others know what is expected. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to try these strategies out to see what works in your situation. You’ll probably find that you have a great conflict manager inside you.

Larina Kase, PsyD, MBA is the New York Times Bestselling Author of The Confident Speaker. She helps executives and entrepreneurs to communicate with confidence, clarity, and conviction. Get more resources at http://www.TheConfidentSpeaker.com

KEYWORDS

workplace conflict, conflict management skills, conflict manager, workplace conflict management, assertiveness skills, build confidence, communication skills, conflict management strategies

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