If you work in a conflict-ridden
situation, you know that it is not only
uncomfortable, but it affects the
performance of those involved. Conflict in
the workplace is inevitable. When you get a
bunch of bright, driven, passionate people
together, everyone is likely to hold fast to
their ideas and want to defend them at all
costs. Conflict ensures.
The important question is: how do you
handle conflict? In general, people are
either conflict avoiders or conflict
confronters.
Do you shy away from conflict?
Do you tend to give a conflict time to
work itself out or figure that there’s
nothing you can do about it?
Many people feel uncomfortable with
conflict and stay away from it. If you
respond to tense situations in these ways,
you may actually exacerbate conflict. On the
other hand, another common mistake is to
jump right in without the communication
skills or conflict management strategies in
place to best handle it.
Instead, try to confront clashes when
they are small before they spiral out of
control. This is the time when emotions are
still relatively calm and you can easily put
the fire out. Proactively address the people
involved and together brainstorm ways to
solve the issue at hand. If you’re feeling
nervous about doing this, do it anyway.
Several great changes can result: your
anxiety decreases, you build confidence and
you diffuse the tension.
Do you have a natural tendency and
ability to manage relationships and smooth
out arguments? Women are especially prone to
this response because they are socialized
from a young age to create positive
relationships with others. This tendency can
lead to neglecting your own needs while
focusing on others. It can, however, work to
your advantage if you are assertive about
your own needs.
Many people are great at handling
conflict until it involves them. You have no
problem mediating and helping others to iron
out their differences, but if the animosity
is aimed at you, you’re ready to head for
the hills.
The key is to trust your intuition about
how to handle discord. Decrease
defensiveness by using assertiveness skills,
such as “I” language (“I feel..” rather than
“you always…”). Remember that you’re
addressing the conflict shows the other
person that you value the professional
relationship and want to preserve it.
Assertively make specific requests for
change and let others know what is expected.
Most importantly, don’t be afraid to try
these strategies out to see what works in
your situation. You’ll probably find that
you have a great conflict manager inside
you.
Larina Kase, PsyD, MBA is the New York
Times Bestselling Author of The Confident
Speaker. She helps executives and
entrepreneurs to communicate with
confidence, clarity, and conviction. Get
more resources at
http://www.TheConfidentSpeaker.com
KEYWORDS
workplace conflict, conflict management
skills, conflict manager, workplace conflict
management, assertiveness skills, build
confidence, communication skills, conflict
management strategies
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